Something to think about.

We've all heard a lot about the ongoing debate for the proposed Mosque, two blocks from Ground Zero. Well, today the president weighed in on the issue, and his response has not been well received by many Americans.

I typically bite my tongue until it bleeds on such matters, because it's just not worth getting in to. As I type this blog, however, I am still literally vibrating with pent up emotion and distress over the attitude of so many of my fellow Americans. And, for me, it's even more upsetting when those close to me seem so full of hatred for a group of people they know nothing about.

This evening one of my Facebook friends posted a link to this article about President Obama favoring the proposed Mosque. My friend's comment on the article was, "The absolute worst human being, if you can even call him that, to be elected President!"

What follows is my response to the uninformed animosity being spewed around this country...

I disagree that the president is the worst human being to be elected to that office. He's only doing his job, which is to uphold our constitution, and the last time I checked, it still allows for freedom of religion in this country. The people that want to build a Muslim community center are not the same people who attacked the World Trade Centers. How would any of you, who claim to be Christians, like it if some crazy fanatical Christian group started going around killing or bombing people in the name of God, quoting scripture to uphold their views, and then everyone thought you were just another one of those murdering Christians and wanted nothing to do with you. Or worse - they wanted to kill you because you must be evil. After all, you subscribe to the same religious beliefs!

You can dislike the president - every one is certainly entitled to their opinion. I'm just hoping that the people I know are trying to keep an open mind and an open heart about such world matters. Anger begets more anger, and will never give us any hope of a peaceful future.

In reality, there is already a Mosque near Ground Zero - it's been there even longer than the World Trade Centers. The entire area is rich with Islamic influence, so to them, a community center just makes sense.

This is 2010, people!!! When will this country grow up? Native Americans, African Americans, Japanese Americans, and now Muslim Americans. Why have we at some time or another decided that it was ever right to discriminate against any of these people.

For the Christians in my life who claim to love God so much, I challenge you to read Matthew 25:40 which says "And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Is this the way Christians would treat Christ (who, in all probability would be clothed and have coloring similar to the very people currently being discriminated against) if he stepped off a plane at JFK tomorrow?

What about John 8:7 - "...He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone.."?

I challenge the Christians who are getting up on their high horses to take just a minute to really examine his or her own life before they continue to look down their noses at any other human being! What gives any of us the right to sit in judgement of any other?

Just something to think about...

The Normans at Home

In case you haven't seen the update on our Europe blog (because it's been forever since I blogged there) then you'll be happy to know that I'm back on the blogging bandwagon. You can read about what's going on with us at our new blog: http://normansathome.blogspot.com.

I have posted some pictures of our new house there so that all of you can see it!

Ernie and Jen's Wedding

Ernie and Jen's Wedding

In mid-October we were in Long Island for Ernie and Jen's wedding. These are the pictures I took during some of the activities that weekend. We had a great time going out to eat, attending wineries and the farmer's market - and taking pictures of "big things" like the big cauliflower, and the big duck, and I think some other big thing that escapes me right now - and of course the wedding! Thanks to Ernie and Jen for such a great time - and for such a great excuse for everyone to get together.

Resolutions

It's that time of year again. The time when we look back over the past year to see how far we've come and evaluate our goals to determine what we should strive to do differently next year. For many of us, January 1st is like a clean slate. We can start over, try something new, and resolve that this time will be different.

Of course there are some that will resolve to change something in their life, but not change anything about their beliefs or actions. We all know Albert Einstein's definition of insanity, right? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results! Sure it seems obvious, but we've all done this! We get stuck in a rut and it is very difficult to dig ourselves out once we're there. So, we keep spinning our wheels without realizing that the hole is getting deeper and deeper.

I believe that many times when we make resolutions we set ourselves up for failure. We do this in several ways. First, we believe that by starting over we can try again to make things perfect. Hear me now everyone, it will never be perfect! We need to learn to let go of this line of thinking, because it will destroy us and all of our good intentions. When we think this way we have sabotaged ourselves before we can ever get started. I know I'm guilty of this. I think this year my mantra for keeping my resolutions will be, "It doesn't have to be perfect". Perhaps if we say this to ourselves enough we will actually start to believe it!

Another way that we set ourselves up to fail is by simply using the wrong tools to accomplish a task. Everyone knows that you can't use a screwdriver to drive nails into a board, and that you can't use a hammer to drive screws into the same board. I'm sure that, though it might be physically possible to do the latter (I'm sure some of you have tried), the end result would fall short of our desired outcome.

So why do we insist on doing the same with our resolutions? All tools are not created equally, and certainly not for the same tasks. If I started a new hobby, something like wood working, then I should probably learn to use the basic tools before I use more complex ones. Start slowly when you're trying to make life changes.

Slowly. Well, that could be part of the problem too. We all want a magic pill. Unfortunately, we'll never see results this way. My mother always used to say, "Patience is a virtue". Let me tell you, patience is a difficult concept for a child. Many times, it's even more difficult as an adult. When we fail to see positive results after a few weeks, or a few days for some of us, then we just stop trying instead of having the patience to be make our goals become reality.

Write down your goals and come up with an action plan to make them a reality. Find the right tools to help you. Want to lose weight? Write down how much weight you want to lose by a specific date and then find a friend, a support group, or a personal trainer to help you reach your goal. If you want to stop smoking, then maybe your doctor could help you determine the best tools and plan of action for you. If you're looking for tools to help you get rid of household clutter and become more organized, then check out FlyLady.net. She has a lot of good ideas to help you get your life and your home in order.

Whatever your resolution might be, don't expect for it to happen immediately. It has taken years for us to develop the bad habits we're trying to break, so we're not going to fix them overnight. Be patient, think positively, use the right tools, and remember that it doesn't have to be perfect!

Dealing with Stress: Part 2 of 2

Here is part 2 of the article with some different suggestions on how to effectively recognize and cope with stress in your life...

I’m so uptight that I can’t seem to learn how to relax! Where do I start?

Try a simple technique to “SLAY” your stress: Stop-Listen-Act-Yeah!

Stop: In order to manage stress, you must first be aware of what is causing you stress. Once you realize what causes your stress, try to focus on how your body feels under stress. In time you will learn to recognize the signs of stress, and know more easily when it’s time to “Stop” and refocus.

Listen: If you will listen, your body will tell you when you are under stress by exhibiting signs such as irritability, headaches, an upset stomach, muscle aches, cold/clammy hands, or clenched or grinding teeth. These are just of few of the ways stress can present itself to you. When you notice these or other signs of stress, then take a few seconds to analyze why you are experiencing those feelings. Stress can be caused by any number of things both in the workplace and at home, and every person reacts to stress in a different way. Recognizing what causes your stress and how your body reacts to stress is an important step in finding ways to combat negative stress

Act: Once you’ve taken the time to stop, and listen to how and why stress is affecting you, then it’s time to take action! There are many things you can do to help alleviate stress in your life.
Here are a few possibilities:

• Avoidance. I know it has a negative connotation, but as it relates to stress, this is a great coping mechanism. Once you can identify activities, or situations that are stressful for you, then try to avoid them, at least until you’ve learned how to manage the stressful situation more effectively.
• Do you need a break? Sometimes we literally work ourselves into a state of exhaustion – mentally and physically. If you find your mind wandering, or you’re feeling anxious, try taking a short break or even a nap. Figure out what type of break works best for you. Maybe it’s just some quiet time, or a walk around the block.
• Relaxation techniques: such as deep breathing, stretching, meditation, Yoga, etc.
• Prioritize. Take a good hard look at all of the things you’re trying to accomplish and honestly ask yourself what is most important. By adjusting your priorities, it can sometime change your attitude toward some of those things you “have” to do. That little wake up call might be all you need to approach tasks with less stress. Prioritizing can also enable you to decide which tasks you must let go, for now, or for good – whatever works out best for you.
• Remember it is ok to say no. It’s even ok to say, “I thought I could do this but it’s overwhelming me now”. Learn to delegate, and to ask for help. Just don’t expect anyone to read your mind. Just assume that if you don’t say it clearly and explicitly to them, then they have no clue what you’re thinking or how to help you.
• Work smart, not hard. Learn to manage your time, and remember that even though we think we can be more efficient by multitasking, it rarely works out that way.
• Set clear, realistic goals. These need not be career specific. Set goals for your personal life or development as well. It’s no wonder we’re stressed when we run around in circles with no idea where we’re going, or when we’ll get there.
• Do not to let yourself be provoked or upset by others' behavior. I know that for those of us with a passionate nature this is a tough one. It can be a constant mental struggle, but one that is well worth it. In the larger scheme of things is this one little thing really going to matter? Be honest with yourself, and just let it go!
• Find someone to talk to. Sometimes if we just share our frustrations with a friend or supervisor we feel better equipped to handle the problem. One word of caution. It might take a little trial and error to discover whom to talk to about stressful situations. If you want someone to just listen and not offer advice, it’s ok to tell them that.
• Improve your relationships. Go out of your way to improve relationships with family, friends and co-workers.
• Change your lifestyle. When you take better care of your body, it can handle stress more effectively. Develop a healthier or more positive lifestyle with good nutrition and exercise.
  Renew your spirit.
• Find a religious or spiritual practice such as praying, private devotions, attending church or any other group or activity that speaks to your inner spirit. Maybe it’s even something simple like working in the garden, playing an instrument, or looking at picture albums.
• Seek professional help. In some cases, stress might be wreaking so much havoc in your life that you are not able to effectively deal with it alone. Seeking help from someone specially trained to help you is never a bad thing! A mental health counselor can help you find and implement the right solution for your particular problem.
• Sometimes prescribed medications may by beneficial to help alleviate anxiety and depression which is often associated with stress.

While there isn't a specific test to diagnose stress, if you are having problems with symptoms such as headaches, upset stomachs, etc., you should see your doctor to rule out medical illness. Otherwise, relax, and take one day at a time.

If the cause of your stress is not easily recognized or manageable, you may feel overwhelmed, depressed, or helpless, as if there is "no way out." If this describes your situation, please seek professional assistance to help you cope with those feelings.

Yeah! You did it! You’re learning how to combat the negative effects of stress in your life. “If it is to be, it is up to me.” I can not remember now where I first heard that saying, but it is so very true. There is no magic pill to make stress disappear from your life. You have the power to change anything about your life that you want to change. Life can be beautiful if you stop to smell the flowers and admire yourself. Try to remember, that no matter what stressful situation you find yourself in...you always have options!

If any of you have other suggestions on ways you deal with stress, please leave a comment. Your suggestions might be just the solution someone else is looking for.

Dealing with Stress: Part 1 of 2

I know that this is an issue that affects all of us. Even though I sometimes profess to hate writing, I must admit that it has become an activity that helps me alliviate stress. The following is part one of a two-part article I've written on the subject of stress.

Dealing with Stress: Positive vs. Negative Stress

Like it or not, stress is a fact of life for all of us. However, we need to understand that stress should not have to be a way of life. In today’s fast-paced world of two-income families, rising gas prices, and the ongoing desire to “keep up” with those around you, I’m sure many of you are asking how I can say that stress does not have to be a way of life. One thing I’m beginning to understand is that there are indeed many things in life that are completely and totally out of my control, but I also know that there are very few things in my own life that I can’t learn to manage.

So, why do we have stress?
Stress is not all bad. Stress can help you concentrate, focus, and perform at a higher level. Many people, me included, do their best work when under a moderate amount of pressure. The difference between those people who use stress to their advantage, and those who let it take over their lives comes in the aftermath of those challenges. Once the project is complete, or the goal achieved, they relax and enjoy their achievement. This relaxation enables them to build up the physical and emotional reserves they will need to meet the next challenge.

Stress becomes negative when you do not - or can not - relax after meeting the challenge. Too much stress can leave you feeling anxious, frustrated, tired, irritable, angry, tense, and depressed. If left untreated, chronic, ongoing stress can lead to emotional problems and even physical illness.

How do I make sure that my stress doesn’t become “negative” stress?
To stop the ongoing negative effects of stress you must learn to relax. In order to relax, you must make time for it! That means you have to schedules relaxation time, just as you would your shopping trips, errands, time for paying bills, soccer practice, music lessons, etc.

Learn about the SLAY technique, and some positive ways of combating stress in the next installment of this article.

To be continued...

Christmas Dinner

Christmas Dinner

Christmas was a little strange this year since we couldn't be with our families, but we didn't let that stop us from having a kick ass Christmas dinner! Here are some of the pictures of our dinner complete with homemade rolls, and Michael's apple pie!